Farewell, old friend.

I retired my wallet today. I could give you any number of reasons why I did so, but let's go with the fact that there was no part of it that was attached to any other part of it any longer. It looked like something you might pull out of Tom Hanks's pocket in that movie where he hangs out with the volleyball.

As to why it fell apart? I think the reason is clear. It died of loneliness. It missed its lifelong soulmate with whom it was born to be: money. My old wallet died of a broken heart.

As I tossed its lifeless form into the trash, I could swear I heard a tiny voice say, "Tell money I always loved it." Money knows, baby. Money knows.

I hope that my old wallet is in heaven now, reunited with all those dollars that I read about every year when Social Security sends you that thing that tells you what you've made for your entire life. Now that I bring it up, I miss those dollars. I wonder what they're doing now...