Dear Autumn,

I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry I shouted at you last week. I'm sorry I called you the b word. Now please stop being incredibly rainy and depressing for everyone in the tristate area.

Come on, baby, why you rainin'? Shhhhh, shh, shhhhhhh. No, no, no. Stop raining, baby. Let's get you out of that uncomfortable green foliage. Ok, ok. We'll take it slowly. That's cool, baby. You drop those leaves at your own pace, Autumn.

Seriously. Please stop the raining. I've forgotten what the sun looks like. And yet I seem to remember enjoying it. And I think if I saw it now, I might pee a little. Not a bad thing. Like tears of joy. Pee tears of joy. Look, don't worry about the specifics. Just get it done.

Love,

The Sad, Seasonally Affected Guy in Apartment C1