10.11.2005

Dear New Laundromat,

How are you? I am just fine. Couple of quick things:

  1. Your swipecard-based payment system frightens me, and yet leaves me secretly thrilled that I get a glimpse at the future of laundry. You make me feel like a real Jetson, and for that I will always love you.
  2. This is less a comment than an observation. I really like the plasticy picnic tables. It's like McDonaldland without the burden of french fries or fun.
  3. Please smother that swarm of children who circle me, wherever I go. But before you end their adorable lives, please ask them how they know. How do they know? How can they tell how badly I am wishing that they would give me at least a 5 foot no-child perimeter? And once they determine my no-child-please-zone, who trained them to coordinate their child-in-laundry-cart assault for maximum disturbance of my inner peace? I'm trying to be wicked enlightened over here, and it's very difficult when my brain is generating elaborate visions of each of them crying.

Sincerely,

That guy who moved away from the childcluster about eleven times before realizing that they were following me.

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