8.10.2005

Greatest Cable Guide Listing Ever

Black Sunday R *** 1977
A terrorist lures a blimp pilot into a plot to spray the Superbowl with darts.

First of all, YES! Hurray! This is a fantastic idea. Not to actually DO, of course. That would really hurt. I'm saying that I can't believe there aren't more movies about darts! Or just featuring darts. Or more terrorists who use them. Ever been sprayed with darts? Me neither, but I bet it SUCKS. I'm serious.

Secondly, my favorite word in the description is "lures." I imagine the blimp pilot is maybe an orangutan, and the terrorist is waving a banana in front of the plot to spray the Superbowl with darts, making those clicking noises and going, "Come on! Here, boy! Come on. Come-on-you-know-you-want-a-banana."

There is no good word for that noise we make when we are luring dogs to stuff. Or blimp pilots into plots.

Also, orangutans maybe don't even like bananas. That's a cultural stereotype and I'm ashamed for having used it here. I'd like to think I'm above that sort of thing. Ok, make it a caesar salad. And instead of an orangutan, make it an ocelot. Or a lynx. I feel so much better.

5 comments:

miss wendy said...

Bungles bungles, wagga wagga, Bindi bindi, Woy woy,Grong grong, gumly gumly,just continuing the Australilan plural name thing.. it's from the Indigenous beginnings so may be delicate to use in stand up..but if you want to know more.. someone sent me an email about this today- Google (Australia only) ABC New England Northwest NSW- that is the Australian Broadcasting Commission and then within that search for 'Pulling Apart Place Names' and you could find some interesting reading..maybe..I'd do a link but don't know how:( W:)

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take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or
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Jeff Mac said...

Thanks, Miss W! I love that method of pluralization. I love love it. Almost as much as I love love these spam comments that I'm now getting on my blogga blogga.

Anonymous said...

really, Jeff, "earning potential", "finance licenses", "house committee for transportation"....this has got to be some of your funniest stuff yet. Killer material....keep up the good work.
Oh, just catching up on my reading; so sorry to hear you had a "dearth" in the family.

Jeff Mac said...

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