Excuses for my recent lack of blogularity...

Hello, you. I just wanted to explain my recent dearth of blog postings. Yeah, dearth. There was one. A dearth, I'm saying. There was a real dearth in there somewhere as far as I'm concerned. I don't usually like to have dearths* if I can avoid them.

Here are just some of the many, many reasons why I have not blogged in a few days:

• Sun was in my eyes.
• I thought I heard someone else say, "I got it" and my old sunday school volleyball instincts kicked in. It was probably a flashback. Volleyball is a lot like Vietnam, if only for that first letter. Seriously, think about it. Creepy. God damn it, Johnny, don't you die on meeeee!!!!!!
• Iditarod practice ran late. Don't worry, none of the huskies or malamutes** were overworked.
• Waiting by the phone in case someone called to tell me that I was rich. Oddly, nothing yet. Hm. I checked the phone, too. It seems to be working fine.
• I was planning my own funeral and as the temperature in my apartment reached "furnace" levels, I began to actually look forward to it.
• I forgot there was an internet.
• I think the main button on my mouse**** was malfunctioning.

In the future, I will do my best to avoid such interruptions in service. Sadly, my best is something less than impressive.

Sincerely*****,

-the management

* You never hear the plural form "dearths" and I mean to remedy that.
** I don't know if there's a difference between the two, and whenever I would ask them they would either stare or just pee on me to mark me as their property***.
*** Not nearly as upsetting as you might think. In fact, it was rather charming.
**** Computer mouse, of course. My actual mouse is functioning perfectly well. And yes, I checked all of her buttons. She's fine. Just let it go, can't you?
***** This word is not meant to be taken literally. I am being as sincere as my Connecticut upbringing will allow.