Hi! I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know that I'm a huge fan! I've been following your work since hours and hours ago when you began, and I am blown away. I especially appreciate that you decided to get the jackhammering work done at dawn. I would hate to start my day off with a false sense of peace on earth. No, really. You're right. Life IS that chaotic and loud, even at sunrise. You humble me, sir. You have shown me the jackhammer of my soul. And for that, I thank you.
As a side note, It looks like you're working on the sewer line. Hurray! I hope this portends brown and cloudy water for me like it usually does when you do your little magic show. I don't want this experience to end when you finish for the day. Or when you fall into that hole and die. Just kidding, ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Well, that's all for now, you magnificent bastard. Keep up the good work -- as if I could stop you! I dream that I'll see you again one day, maybe playing a gong outside the hospital. Or at the library, throwing grenades.
Sincerely,
-a fan
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About Me
- Jeff Mac
- I'm a standup comic living in Brooklyn, NY. See me this summer on COMEDY CENTRAL's new standup show: Live at Gotham!
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2005
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June
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- Karaoke Madness Tonight!
- Getting Organized- the Jeff Mac Way!!!
- Dear Jackhammer Operator,
- Dear Brooklyn Jury Clerk,
- Dear Guy who got to my site by Googling "Darryl Ha...
- The Worst Old Sci Fi I've Ever Watched in its Enti...
- Back from Jury Duty!
- Dear Crate & Barrel,
- Carnivorousness
- Dear Guy at the T-Mobile Store:
- MELTDOWN!
- Solitaire
- Hybrid car
- Kept. Oh, the humanity...
- All-weather lovin'
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June
(15)
4 comments:
Well now, let us not forget in this stunning tribute to recognize Jackhammer man's cousin - Garbage Truck man. It takes true dedication to drive your entire route backwards at 5:30 in the morning so as not to deprive us a single moment of the melodious "back-alarm".
God bless America.
Ah, Garbage Truck Man. Oh, let me count the ways. Thanks for remembering. I'd hate for him to feel left out.
I'm also a fan of Guy Who Doesn't Fully Understand How His Car Alarm Works Even Though He's Owned It For Several Months Now And Please For The Love Of God Turn That Thing The Fuck OFF! Man.
And also Why Are You Screaming When Your Friends Are All Within Three Feet Of You Girl.
The group that I like the best are the Young Girls Attempting to Imitate Chickens... I love that when I am on public transport and a HEAP .. or herd or flock of young women get on the bus or train and then 'talk' with each other.. It's like some weird edge opera where the innotation is so varied .. each word goes throuh three octaves and lasts an hour .. and is SO INANE.. and all over the top of each other.. just like an orchestra .. except with no score. And I sit in the middle searching for an MP3 player, which allways has a flat battery at that point, or tissue or old chewing gum.. any thing to avoid the noise. Fingers in the ears and humming is a last resort ('cos you don't want to look silly do you!" ). Boys are so much better. They just slouch so they take up every piece of available space and sometimes smell, spit and scratch.. but usually quietly! Except for that draw back into the throat prior to the spit.or 'gozzie' as it was known in the neighborhood of my youth. I saw a guy spit in the corner of a train once (inside) I was revolted and unable to say anything.. I have, I admit, interuppted boys on occasion when they have been swearing - using the word fuck in every sentence in many different ways (as is part of my rich Australian heritage- that and throwing telephones) and I did interrupt and let them know that 'fuck' was not an adjective or a noun it was a verb, a 'doing' word so I'd appreciate it if they could restrain it's use to this format.. They were SO receptive! having someone who looks like your mother (on a bad day, or bad year) say THE word! Ah well off I go to do more making of friends and influencing people.
Miss Wendy, it's so nice to hear that those young ladies have an active franchise in the Southern Hemisphere as well!
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