I am not in favor of animal cruelty. Let me just say that right at the top. I am not completely heartless when it comes to animal rights. For example, I had a rabbit once. It was delicious.
That's my main problem with trying to be a vegetarian. It's the pure tastiness of eating stuff. I mean, it's not like chickens were going to live forever, you know. And even if they did, it's not like they bring much to the table as a species. Ever watch a chicken for more than a minute? Of course not. Why would you? They run through their entire chicken repertoire in about 20 seconds. The most impressive thing that a chicken will ever accomplish is being delicious to me.
Cows have it even worse. Not only are they boring when alive and scrumptious when dead, but wearing clothes made from their skin can actually get you laid. Burgers AND sex, vs. watching your boring ass wander around a pasture all day? Uh gee...let me think about that one for a--medium rare, please.
Let's face it -- animals are NOT our equals. They really aren't. Know how I know? Ok, take the most hardcore vegan on the planet, and put him on a deserted island with a cow, and only food enough to maintain one of them. What are they going to do, flip for it? Rock, paper, scissors?
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About Me
- Jeff Mac
- I'm a standup comic living in Brooklyn, NY. See me this summer on COMEDY CENTRAL's new standup show: Live at Gotham!
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2 comments:
Hey Jeff, I'm a fish eating vegatarian.. not a political vegatarian.. just stopped eating meat when I was studying and found it cheaper to eat lentils.. but then found I couldn;t go back.. It's not just about animal rights as I understand it.. for pepole who are politically minded I mean.. it's that it takes 1/1oth of the land area to feed a vegetarian (and an ocean in my case!) as it does to feed a meat eater.. Because the cow eats the grass and then we eat the cow.. rather than just eat the plant (so to speak.. write) And I don't know about the smart thing - once I was a nanny in the rural region of Australia and went to look after a baby who the parents called "stupid".. not actually his birth name.. and I was talking to the baby and they said.. why are you doing that how do you know he understands you... I said how do i know you understand me?.... anyway that baby wasn't so obviously smart and so if we follow your reasoning perhaps we should have eaten him. ;)
Hey, you'll get no argument from me, Miss Wendy. If that baby wasn't smart or interesting enough to stop you, hell YES you should have eaten him. I feel you owed him that much at least.
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