6.17.2005

Back from Jury Duty!

Hello, all. Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. I was on jury duty. It was delightful. I will post more on this, but just a few quick highlights of what I experienced in the Kings County Courthouse:
  • I heard the loudest not-from-a-friend fart I have ever heard to date. Impressive. As in "Louis Armstrong solo" loud. At first I was disgusted. And then, after a moment, I continued to be disgusted.
  • While being questioned by attorneys, one prospective juror made reference to the Law & Order "dun dun!" sound. The defendant, about to stand trial for attempted murder, actually covered his face in horror as he realized the intelligence level of his jury. (As a side note, she was selected for his jury. Good luck, fella!)
  • I was not picked for that jury. Why? Because I would make an AWESOME juror. Frankly, I think they were all terrified of me. In the land of the dummies, the one-brained man is king.
  • The juror orientation film made reference to Charlemagne. Good choice, State of New York. Way to understand your core audience and their interests.
  • We were told about 10 times how EVERYONE has to serve no matter who they are. And by "we" I mean a room packed with low income people and nobody else.

More on this later!

4 comments:

miss wendy said...

Well Jeffrey really!.. you can't be expecting peole who have lives and jobs to be interuppting their busy schedules to attend such lack lustre events.. I mean it's all THOSE people who are being tried anyway..surely No one else had time to commit CRIME!
Some peole are busy making money!Enough money to get their tracks covered and buy more white collared clothing, and are needing to recouperate in the evenings by watching Law and Order!

Tanya O'Debra said...

Jeff Mac, this is all very funny. The Charlemagne thing really got me.

I have not yet served on a jury. I was supposed to, but I forgot. Is that bad?

sarahfisch said...

I weirdly enjoyed my jury duty experience. I felt sad to be rejected. I feel better after reading this.

SCREW YOU, CHARLEMAGNE!

Jeff Mac said...

In order of comment:

Miss Wendy, of course you're right. I sometimes forget just how hard it is for the wealthy. (Oh, and there's a "kangaroo court" joke to be made, what with your Wagga Wagga roots, but since I don't know what a "kangaroo court" is, I'll skip it.)

Tanya, yes. It is bad that you forgot to serve on a jury. Only slightly less bad than if you had remembered to do so.

Fisch, don't think of your non-selection as a rejection. Think of it as having been declared Not Guilty of being a dreg of humanity.