My reason for contacting you is a request for assistance. When you are sending some of your folks over to America, please ask them not to open Mexican restaurants in New York City. They just don't know how to do it.
Nobody else does this. People from Sweden don't move to Beijing and open Nigerian restaurants. It would be weird. See what I'm saying? You've got to stop them.
If they insist, please pass along these tips, in the interest of international goodwill and me not throwing up.
- When a recipie calls for a tortilla, go ahead an use a tortilla. It's ok, just use one. No, a mooshu pancake really isn't the same thing, I promise. Yes, I know they're both round. Not the point.
- When making salsa, I know that it is tempting to think to oneself, "Well, it's red, it's chunky -- DONE!" I know you're eager to move on, but try to stick with it for a little longer. For optimum results, it's important to add ingredients that are found in salsa.
- When you sell someone a "chicken quesadilla", it would be great if at least one of those words didn't have to be in quotes like that. And by that I mean that it should either contain a tortilla (see above) with an appropriate cheese, or that the meat on it should have once belonged to a chicken. Ideally both of these would be true.
Please, do what you can. See you soon!
Sincerely,
-Jeff
3 comments:
I, too, think you are so funny.
I don't know how you arrived at them, but you chose the most perfectest nationalities for the "Swedish-Nigerian restaurants" detail, oh my God.
Thanks ladies. I only do this for the praise, you know. And when people aren't nice enough to provide me with it (like yourselves) I have to write myself rave reviews in my own head. Which is a little sad.
I also think you are funny but then if you knew me that may not be so comforting! I think funny is life changing- I think instead of invading other countries we should just send over the best stand up comics and the best musicians we can and make fun with each other.. NO HITTING is a great idea.) Keep up the global warming (of the heart)
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