The Wholphin and His Friends

Well, apparently a whale banged a dolphin and they had a kid. They're calling it a "wholphin." It happened in Hawaii, so I'm assuming they were at a luau, they were having rum drinks, they were dancing, you know the story.

I love this sort of hybrid animal thing, and I wish they did it more often (and no, it didn't count when IHOP served an omelette on top of a waffle and called it a "womelette".) Here are my ideas for some combinations that will make life a little more bearable.

The Bear-a-Bull: Bull makes sweet love to a bear, and this is the result. Actually, I was just going for the pun from the last sentence. And now I've done it. Just assume that the comedy hasn't started yet. Ok, I really don't appreciate how quickly you all said, out loud in your own homes, that you already HAD assumed that. It's rude, and I'm not getting paid for this. Unless some of you want to pay me for this. In which case you can spank me all night long if you like.

The Multure: A monkey chases down, captures, and bangs a vulture. I don't know how I feel about this one as an animal, but I think that the conception itself could have some comedic value.

The Fronghorned Antelope: A frog and, well, a pronghorned antelope. Eh...let's move on.

The Waltoid: A walrus finds a way to become impregnated by an altoid. It looks like a regular walrus, but it is curiously strong, and the tusks are very refreshing. Very refreshing.

The Stan-a-tee: A female manatee waddles up onto land to mate with my childhood nextdoor neighbor Stan. Nice guy. I'm sure his wife and kids will understand if it was all done for my amusement.