What a lot of people don't know is that lamb's blood will not only repel the Angel of Death, but also trick or treaters, and most travelling salesmen. Lambs don't exactly love it either. I learned that from Joel Fleischman on Northern Exposure. Either that, or I might have made it up when I had a really bad fever.
Anyway, there are plenty of other olde tyme door smearing remedies that are perhaps less known than your standard lamb action. But they are no less potent. Try them for yourself!
- If you put the blood of your children on your front door the Angel of Death will spare your lambs. It works both ways. Your choice.
- Rubbing linseed oil into your door will not protect anyone from anything, but it will increase your chances of hearing the following, "Behold! I am the Angel of De…Oooh, this door is in beautiful shape! Oh, uh, you're dead by the way. But such a nice door!"
- Also, if you smear maple syrup on your door, the Angel of Pancakes will upgrade your short stack of 3 buckwheat pancakes to the full 5 at no extra cost to you.
- And finally, replacing your front door with a Gyro on pita will protect your children (and their sandwiches) from Arianna Huffington and/or Anthony Quinn. It never caught on, but still...Makes you think, doesn't it?
1 comment:
Ooh, Jeff, check your new fancy-pants college boy comment-box over here to the left. What a Jew. Except, wait, you aren't.
Not for nothing (!), nobody invited me to a seder this year. And I didn't feel sorry for myself at all hardly, but then I thought I'd register it as a complaint here, on my goy friend's blog.
There.
I feel better.
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