3.10.2005

Please, no pictures

I never feel so trapped as when I'm looking at a giant pile of someone's photos. I don't even necessarily like looking at the people I'm with RIGHT HERE. Now I have to look at little pieces of paper with images of them in other places? I think you overestimate how interesting it is to look at you.

A lot of this nonsense is with photos of children, on the assumption that no one could possibly be uninterested in your child. Let's disabuse you of that notion right here. Children are just people -- yes, this applies to YOUR children. Some of them are interesting, some are boring, and some of them are little assholes. And almost none of them are worth looking at in 36 concurrent situations. It's just like adults.

Look, if someone really wants me to look at a picture of their child, here's what they should do. Pick the one photo they really like and put it on top, because that's the only one I'm looking at. After that first one, all of my brain power is tied up in A.) blind resentment and B.) calculating how long I have to pause with each photo before I can flip to the next one without letting on that I'm completely not paying attention.

After all, I don't want to insult them, but I don't want to encourage them to show me any more of these things either.
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3 comments:

LORMO said...

BUT what if it was a pile of pictures of boobs.

I bet you'd feel differently then.

I just let people know when we meet that I'm not interested in their photographs, but that I will look at them at my speed. Them's the rules.

2:44 AM
Jeff Mac said...

But it never IS a pile of pictures of boobs, Lori. Never. (And if it was, you can bet your ass they would NOT be ones you'd care to see.)

I'm impressed with your technique, though. "Honesty," you say? At what point do you hit them with this information? Do you tell everyone you meet right away, or do you wait until you learn that they are the type of person that might have photos?

11:36 AM
LORMO said...

I don't bother telling people about how I'll handle the looking of at their photos until it comes up.

Just take it one day at a time, Jeff.

Then, when you see that person come at you with a pile of photos - you can just say, "if that isn't a a pile of boob photos, then I only want to see one of your stupid photos. You get one.

Personally, I would love to see a pile of photos of myself. But nobody ever has that either, do they Jeff? And if they did, well, that would be a little bit scary, actually.

You know what else? A pile of boob photos, admit it, would be a little unsettling too.

9:55 AM

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