I've had a request for some commentary on America's Next Top Model, my favorite reality TV show. I know it's a strange show for a straight man to love. Especially since I don't know or care at ALL about fashion or modelling. I don't get either one. But that's not why I love the show.
I'm in it for the crying. No crying, no show. I don't even know why you'd turn on the cameras unless there was a chance that someone might cry. Oh, and comeuppance. I'm huge with the comeuppance. So, I enjoy seeing people weep for any reason, and I enjoy seeing them get their just desserts. And if they can do both at once, so much the better.
Hey, you've got your problems too.
On with the recap:
Crying Tears of Joy/Relief: 1 - Not great, but I'll take it. You usually don't get more than 2 of these anyway.
Crying Tears of Sadness/Frustration: 4 - Out of 12 girls? This is pathetic. I'm hoping for a far better showing next week. At least one of them was combined with comeuppance.
Group Fake Enthusiasm: 3 - This is when the group is given their next task, and they all jump up and down and scream. Not everything is that exciting. It annoys me, and just makes me want all the more to see each and every one of them cry.
Accidental Barfing in a Restaurant: 1 - Four glasses of white wine and a few, "I love you guys" sort of comments later, spewing right over the armrest of her chair. Bravo.
Ridiculous Crab Suits: 1 - This is the only thing I actually DO like about the fashion industry. It is so weird and out of touch with reality that you occasionally get to see someone dressed up like a giant crustacean. Fantastic.
Quote of the week: "All of y'all bitches are evil!" (FYI: This was from the girl who loved everyone after 4 glasses of wine. Excellent!)
Retarded Tyra Banks moment of the week: When she asked the girls, "How many times has a guy come up to you in a club and been like, 'What's your sign, baby?'" Uh…I'm guessing zero. You know when would have been a good time to ask models this? Around 25 years before you did.
What I can't wait for next week: Ok, the preview included the phrase "flesh-eating bacteria." Enough said.
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2 comments:
Very good recap. Keep them coming.
I hate them all so very much. Especially Tyra. God I hate Tyra.
I also hate the world's most ancient supermodel. God I hate her/.
Oh my god - not just flesh eating bacteria - FACIAL Flesh eating bacteria! (virus? whatever...)
It's so hard to be a model, especially when your beauty is infectious!
I lubba you Mackypoo! Tanks! I missed the barfing part! :D I want one every week now - a model recap...
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