- Your child is a bit of a nuisance to everyone but you. No one is interested in how cute they are, especially if they are going to be that loud.
- Please re-read rule one until it sinks in. Yes, even YOUR child. Not just the smelly, dirty children.
- Don't show me pictures of them. If they are here, isn't that bad enough? And if they are not here, let me just sit and enjoy the quiet.
- I am not a monkeybars. Seriously, your kid is playing with fire right now.
- Please let your kid play with fire right now. How else is he going to learn?
- Please keep the child out of everybody's way. Just because you have chosen a life of inconvenience and exhaustion for yourself is no reason to punish the rest of us.
Thank you.
P.S. To the person in the UK who got to my site by Googling "Pooped herself": God Bless you, sir or madam. I hope you found what you were looking for.
5 comments:
bitter bitter little man...you know they are all adorable. especially mine. You should listen to the recording I have of him using the computer at three. Fuckin ADORABLE!
Tsk tsk tsk. Sounds like someone hasn't been reading rules one and two. ;)
I like children- they make perfect sense to me... a little like you to be Purfectly honest!- It's the parents I find tricky!- I like staring into drains and at frogs and water and things... whereas discussing their schooling and exploits and looks,, leaves me somewhat disinterested... children don't tend to want to discuss those things.. and the thing is you know you can talk with them!!- like if they want to climb on you - they are human and often understand language.. or hand signs .. like No! that's enough now .... where as I find adults can not take the same guidance often.. ) I KNOW it's not a popular concept to express opinions that differ tothe BLOG holder!! on their own blogg .. but there you go call me democratic.. 'cos you know Jeff you can't just have it all your own way you know!- those greens do needs to be eaten before the icecream... )
I love it when a non-parent writes a "Guidebook for Parents." Right now I'm working on my "Guidebook for Latin American Car Detailing," based on my expertise. Look for it.
Now, now Alannah. I am not claiming to know anything about parenting. I'm just trying to alert parents to certain aspects of their children that make me feel as if some giant being lifted a Chuck E. Cheese over his mighty head, shook it up, and dumped the contents on me.
Children are just like adults. Some of them are wonderful. But, like adults, a huge percentage of them is comprised of little a-holes.
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