9.30.2005

Dear guy who brought his own seat cushion onto the subway,

How are you!? I'm doing great, sir. I really am. I'm having such a wonderful Autumn morning that I'm going to let you slide. Just for today, you get a free pass on bringing your own upholstery into your transit experience.

For future reference, however, you might want to at least get a cover for that seat cushion. That torn up, stained piece of yellowing foam would, on a lousier day, get you a thorough blogging from the Mac. And you know you don't want any part of that, boyo. Next time, that's yo ass. People far and wide know...that...uhhh...ok, I'm not that intimidating. But stop being weird please.

Oh, and you might want to rethink the black dress socks with those tan sandals. Not for my sake, for your own. I don't know if you've hit that age when you are no longer confident that there might be sex in your life. Personally, I hit that age at about 12 years old, so I can relate. Regardless, that fashion decision helps no one. Leave it be.

Sincerely,

That guy you sat too close to and breathed near in a disturbing way yesterday

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