Target: When Quality is No Object

When you're moving into a new apartment, you have to buy things. Sometimes you buy them at Target.

Premise complete.

Amongst the wonderfully cheapo items at Target (i.e. something that said "Electronic Microwave" -- you know, for when you tire of the hand crank ones) I saw something that I think will usher in a whole new era in kitchening.

The "Potato Ricer".

Now...I have never riced a potato. Nor have I potatoed rice. I always sort of considered that something of an either/or decision that you would make when you bought your food. And never have I experienced such buyer's remorse from a potato purchase that I actually wanted to transmute it to an entirely different starch. And since both potatoes and rice cost about 20 cents a serving, maybe you can splurge and get both and decide later, even.

However, in my adorable/quaint/cozy/rustic/microscopic new apartment, this is the kind of space-saving idea that may have found it's niche. I can' t be storing both potatoes AND rice. I'll be lucky to get even one of those through the door. So, I get this device, buy a potato, and I make that fucker dance.

Some other devices that I think Target should carry:

• The Corn Chickener - Look, sometimes you buy something and you want something different, ok?
• The Hamster Monkeyer - This is likely an overseas item, but I think it has a demographic out there.
• The Cheese Lamper - This is for when you have accidentally ordered so much cheese online that, during delivery, one of the piles of brie wheels tips over and destroys one of your lamps. This nearly never happens, but when it does you will feel very foolish for not owning this device.
• The Water Winer - Old device that they used to sell at the Williams Sonoma in the Nazareth Heights Mall.
• The Grape Complete Thanksgiving Dinnerer - Great way to economize during the holidays.
  

And if they would only invent a Dust Casher or a Pile of 20 Coffee Mugs Diamonder, I'd be well on my way to financial freedom.