Dear Star Wars (epilogue)

I have a dilemma. I have no idea how good you were. I am too much of a fan to be able to tell. In a sense, you were very crappy. Or at least you have crappy elements. And yet I had a great time, and will likely see you again. Lots of jedis jumping around with lightsabers. (Note: if there was any justice in this shithole of a world, I would be a hilarious jedi instead of a comedian. Real life blows.)

I will not comment on the specifics of you, Star Wars, so as not to spoil people. But I will say this. I am very disappointed in the near total lack of costumed nerds that came to see you. It was the midnight show, opening night! Nothing? There was one adorable young lady dressed like Princess Leia from the original Star Wars. And there was one chunky, cheeto-encrusted gentleman who I can only describe as a "bathrobe jedi." And that was it. Totally pathetic in its almost total lack of pathetic fans.

Another thing I will say about seeing a nerd movie on opening night is that there is NO fucking nonsense. On that night, the nerds don't fuck around. No talking, no laser pointers on the screen, nothing. No one would dare, lest they get a lightsaber up the ass.

Oh, and I'll offer one critique of you, Star Wars. (This doesn't spoil anything major.) I think maybe yoda doesn't need to talk backwards in every single line. I really didn't need to hear, "Not if anything to say about it I have." That's not bad assed. It's just retarded.

Your fan,

Jeff

P.S. I applaud you for not allowing Jar Jar Binks to speak. It made life much easier for me.