Perspective

Well, our president is now trying to sell his Social Security plan to black people. He says that the current system is not fair to blacks because they don't live as long as white people, and therefore don't get as much back in benefits.

I guess that's where he loses me on this issue. See, I think what's not fair is that THEY DON'T LIVE AS LONG AS WHITE PEOPLE. How about we try and solve that problem? Then, social security will be fair.

It sort of goes like this:

Bush: My fellow African-Americans. (pause for laughter.) Since you're gonna die soon anyway, why should you worry your pretty heads about all these taxes?

Me: But Mr. President, WHY are black people dying sooner than white people? And shouldn't we be doing something about it?

Bush: Uhhh...well...uhhh...my tax plan is...uhhh....hm.

Cheney: Mr. President, if I may?

Bush: JESUS, don't do that! I didn't see you there. You know you scare the hell out of me.

Cheney: I'm sorry, Mr. President. In answer to your question, sir, if any group of Americans chooses to decrease their lifespan voluntarily, we will not interfere. We're the Republicans - we get government off your backs.

Me: So, you support assisted suicide, then?

Cheney: Ahh, well...uh...

Bush: Dick, do like me. "Lalalalala! Brrrrrr! Not LISTening!!!"

-fin-