1.14.2005

Making the Case for Zombies

I just saw Dawn of the Dead, and to be honest, it made me feel a little pensive. Every time I see an apocalyptic world destruction film like this, it really drives home all the things that I'll probably never get to do. For example:


  • Kill something with a sword (or ax, machete, what have you...). I'm not exactly itching to do it, but now that I've seen it done, I imagine there's a certain satisfaction there.
  • Get in really great shape. Without zombies, where's the incentive? Daily zombie attacks will put personal trainers right out of business, mark my words.
  • Weld something. I never get to do this, EVER.
  • Construct a rudimentary snowplow/catapult/flamethrower, etc. out of stuff you find at the mall. Who's going to stop you when there's zombies?
Plus, the zombie-killing lifestyle seems so exciting. Make your own hours. Be your own boss. Live rent-free. There are so many positives, and just a couple of negatives (i.e. the zombies attacking you, lack of food/water, etc.).

I really do get a little wistful when I see these movies. At some point during the film, I invariably think, "Yeah, running for your life from brain eating zombies would suck. But is it really worse than having a job?" I think not.

2 comments:

Amy Pacheco said...

i have always wanted to learn how to weld. do you already have the knowledge but nothing to use it on? if so, teach me and we can make me a chair or a table or maybe a machete you can kill rats with.

Jeff Mac said...

No, I don't know how to weld. I've never had an opportunity or a need to weld. In my current zombie-free existence, all the stuff that needs to be stuck together IS stuck together to my satisfaction.