Well, I am that nice sometimes, and it's almost always a source of some embarrassment. Like when dads trust me with their daughters. What a slap that is.
"Uh, yeah, Jeff, listen. My nymphomaniac, lingerie model daughter just called me. She's just flying on Ecstasy, she's out of her mind. Raving about how she's going to bang the first guy she sees. Jeff...Talk to her for me. Would you mind?"How much less of a man can you be at that point?
But there's one type of trust I have NO idea how I have earned. I don't know what it is about me, but people tell me things. Private things. Personal things. The kinds of things you don't tell anyone. Ever. Often within minutes of meeting me. I don't know how many times I've heard someone preface something with, "I've never told anyone this before, but..." And five seconds later, I'm hearing about alcoholic this, sexual dysfunction that, etc. It happens all the time.
And I'm telling these things, people. Like, immediately. I don't know where anybody got the idea that their secret was safe with me. It wasn't. It still isn't. I never said that I wasn't going to tell. They don't even ask me not to tell. They just assume I won't. (Then again, even if they did ask, I'd lie and say, "No, of course not! Who am I going to tell?")
I think they sense that I'm a good listener. Yeah, that's me making sure I get all the details of your story.
I'm not saying that I'm going to tell just anybody any secret. I'm not a total prick. It's got to be a situation where I know that it won't get back to you that I told. I mean, as long as I'm having fun, why get you all upset?
And I'm always very sure to tell them that they are never, ever to reveal to anyone that I'm the one who told them.
But I'm totally telling.
3 comments:
So, secretly not so nice guy?
What deep dark secret did I confess, and who did you tell?
Just remember, I am the eye in the sky, looking at you. I can read your mind.
I am the maker of rules, dealer of fools, I can cheat you blind.
Keep up the good work!
xoxo,
Lori Mocha
yeah right, jeff mac, you wish you had a dark side. you're all marshmallow.
yeah well this happens to me too... I thought it might be 'cos i worked in welfare.. I mean I'd be at the bus stop and off they 'd go with the deep ins and outs of their lives.. I started telling people I was a check out operator rather than in welfare 'cos I thought it might deter them. Then I eventually asked someone.. "Why;d you tell ME?" and they said "Because you seem unshockable" So now when anyone says anything I get REALLY shocked just in case.. So I'd just like to add that I find thi sblogg post you have here a little disturbing.... well shocking if the truth be known..
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