Hi, friend. Sorry I disrespected your subway perspiration problems the other day. How was I to know that only a few short days later, I too would find myself spouting water from all corners of the bod? You have shown me the dripping buttcrack of my soul, and for that I am both chastened and humbled. I thank you.
Now that New York is in the full throes of swamp-assed summer, I see now that you were simply ahead of your time, sweating the bejesus out of yourself when it wasn't even warm enough to be necessary. I see now that you just had the foresight to be proactive about it. And I ask you, I ask all of us: who's laughing now? Uh...actually, I don't know who.
And as a sidenote, now that it is so hot and nasty down there in the subways, my condolences on what I can only refer to as your "personal humidity index." I'm guessing that you could sweat through a down parka in about a minute and a half these days. (And as such, I don't recommend that you wear one.)
Enjoy the summer, Sweat Guy! And make sure you drink lots of gatorade or something, lest ye burst into flames.
Sincerely,
Newly Hot as all Hell in Brooklyn
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