Ok, here are some things I have learned about the holidays. Well, one thing really. Ready? Gosh I know I am. Here we go:
I hate the holidays just like everybody else.
I really thought I was refreshingly unique in my total indifference to the holidays. And apparently I thought it was just some weird coincidence that I get fucking furious sometime near the 3rd week of December every single year.
I can't say I'm not a little disappointed that I can't just shake it off. I mean, hating the holidays? So cliche! I'm down here with all of YOU people. But next year I'll be more prepared. And I'm never leaving my apartment again. Never get out of the boat, or else you run into a fucking tiger while looking for mangoes. That's just the way it works. If you're in 'Nam. Which I am, people. In a very, very roundabout way.
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