So I just declined to enter the office Secret Santa...I was going to say "competition," but that can't be right. Unless it's a competition for the most awkward and uncomfortable exchange of gifts, in which case I think it totally wins.
Look, if something's going to be secret, shouldn't it also be shameful. I know, I know, Secret Santa IS shameful. But it's not trying to be so I don't think it counts. In my homeland of Connecticut we know shame like douchebags know wine vintages (sorry, fans of "Sideways" but if you met that guy in real life you'd get real bored, real fast.)
The point is this: If they had an office...again, not competition but...activity? Timewaster? If they had an office whatever called Shameful Santa, I'd join immediately. In a way, I'm already enrolled in that one. Shame is a gift that I give myself. I give it each and every day.
I will say that I am THRILLED to have turned down Secret Santa for the first time. At another point in my life I would have just signed up and spent the next week and a half dreading the dual terrors of giving something stupid to a stranger AND pretending to LIKE something stupid received from a stranger. But this year I am just looking forward to hearing whispers of "Here comes Mr. Anti-social" as I walk past the watercooler.
I'm just kidding -- I almost never walk PAST the watercooler. Most of my day is spent walking TO or FROM it to pass the time, or to the bathroom to take all of the watercooler water and release it back into the wild. Good bye, pee (nee' watercooler water.) I'll catch you later.
I'm losing it, people.
2 comments:
Secret Santa blows. Hard.
Good work, Mr. Anti-Social.
I dare to be as anti-social as you one day.
But for now, I'm just distant and sullen.
wow. you're really working in an office, eh? i can feel the disdain for the Man in your posts. even though Secret Santa sucks, Mr. Mac, don't forget that the Christmas spirit is in all of us. In you, it should manifest as a nice new pair of leather gloves for your nice friend, Amy. or at least a pat on the back and the exclamation, "Boy, Amy! You sure are GREAT!" either one. whatever you can afford. you see? I have the Christmas spirit. and the gift of gab. but that's a horse of a different color.
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