So I had to go to an informal lunch thing with the CEO of the company I'm working for. The idea was that he would explain where the company is headed to peons such as myself who are only there because someone made us go. But there were sandwiches. The sandwiches held me while I wept.
As he spoke about fiscal this and diversify that (to a roomful of people who just, you know, WORK here) and used 140 acronyms for things I didn't know about even had he used their unabridged names, all I could hear was, "The market has been really SANDWICH for the last few fiscal SANDWICHES. And I feel like our only route, especially with the SANDWICH server and the SANDWICH at SANDWICH hospital, we have to look to the POTATO CHIPS or we're going to have to FREE SODA," etc.
My greatest fears from kindergarten came back to me immediately. I was terrified that at some point he would say, "Jeff, what do you think about all of this?" Because the answer is 'sandwich.' I think sandwich.
5 comments:
JEFF!!! i'm glad to see that Rockville High taught you well...i graduated last year and met you at "big mag's last hurrah"...i got to "work" with you there and you were hilarious...and you still are! i love reading your blog...so funny. and ummm pay attention in your meetings...represent rockville high well :-)
Sold out to the "man" for a ham and cheese.....
I will have you know that it was a grilled chicken breast on a pita. Don't tell me that's not worth my soul. I've seen my soul.
-mac
Are you kidding me? Grilled chicken breast (hee hee hee) on pita is corporate break-up food. Processed meat with white bread is "this is what direction the company is heading" food; actual animal parts that someone took the time to grill is "this is where the company is heading and it doesn't include you" food.
I'm telling you, find a vegetarian right now and find out what was said at that meeting!
There ARE no vegetarians in this building. It's business, Lisa. In business, one is expected to eat the nutritional equivalent of a Celine Dion tribute album.
-mac
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