Things to Do Before Hitting the Desert

Hello all. I'm back from my desert adventure. I have learned things, people. Learned lessons that will help you live your lives, I have. And I will now share them with you. Should you decide to check out the desert, here are some things that you must do first:

• LIKE BROWN: If you don't really enjoy the color brown, Albuquerque is going to be rough on you, I'm telling you right now. There is a city ordinance that says buildings have to look like adobe. Seriously. Everything is brown. And everything that you buy to put on your property is also the same color brown.  So you can go to a McDonald's that looks just like a Spanish mission. And sit outside under brown umbrellas at brown picnic tables. If you want to, I'm saying.
  
• READ YOUR ITINERARY: I can't stress this enough people. JFK airport is NOT, nor will it ever be LaGuardia airport, even if you are really, really late and almost miss your flight because you went to the former instead of the latter. Not that anyone, er, ever DOES this. Surely no. I'm just saying that it would be...ah...a bad thing for YOU to do.
• LOVE CAB DRIVER NAMES: A lot has been made of the very, very foreign spellings of cabbie names. But I had two cab drivers this weekend, and both were not only completely pronounceable, but 100% delightful. Here they are: Lancelot Gibson, and Man Peter. I feel like they might be moonlighting as spammers.

Oh, and regarding my last post -- I did not see an actual lizard, but I DID see a lizard PERSON. She was every bit as terrifying as any lizard. Or at least as terrifying as a lizard's brother.