Interesting Ways for the World to End: A preview

In re-reading Stephen King's The Stand, it occurs to me that the world will probably come to an end at some point. Personally, I'm all for it. I mean, if we're all going to die anyway, wouldn't it be fun to have it happen all during the same week and a half? (The answer is probably "no" but what are you going to do, right? Am I right, people?)

 

Here's a brief rundown of some of the ways it could all go down.

• PLAGUE: This is how it happens in The Stand. I'm not sure if it is the worst way for the apocalypse to come upon us, but it seems sure to be the most fragrant. (rating - One and a half horsemen) 
• ROBOTS BECOME INTELLIGENT, KILL US BECAUSE WE HAVE BECOME A DANGER TO THEM: I love this one. My only wish is that just once before I die, I get to see a scientist on television saying, "As you can see, D12 is perfectly harmless, and incapable of harming a...D12, put that down. Stop, D12. Seriously. Oh crap."(rating - 4 horsemen)
• NUCLEAR WAR:  I don't know about this one anymore. It's so '80s, you know? I guess suitcase nukes are a little punk, but a full-on nuclear war? Will we have to have spiked hair and parachute pants again? Because if we do, I'm all for total destruction.  (rating - half a wormy horseman)
• ALIEN INVASION: Again, love it. Bring it on, please, please, please. War with aliens would be hell, I'm sure. (Especially if it works out to be as retarded as Spielberg's remake of War of the Worlds. I wouldn't be surprised if there are alien cultures planning our demise right now, just because of that film.) But it's got to be more interesting than going to work every morning, no? (rating - 4 horsemen)
• GIANT METEOR: Meh. Not bad. Although it would have the added benefit of not really having any effect on anything until right at the moment of impact. And if people had enough warning, there would be some of the most stunning sex, partying, and carrying on ever imagined. (rating - 3 horsemen)
• ZOMBIES: Ohhhh, come to papa. The best destruction of society EVER. I would be so great in a zombie apocalypse. I really would. And even if I didn't cut it as a zombie hunter, I bet I'd make a rather dashing zombie as well. Either way, I come out a winner. (rating - 5 horsemen)

I hope this guide has been both informative, and...see, I said the word "both" but I only had one thing that I hoped the guide had been. Gotta stop doing that.