Well, it finally happened. And on Columbus Day, of all holy days. In fact, according to my sources North Korea tested their first nuclear weapon in protest of the fact that I don't get Columbus Day off. Now, my sources are wrong. Let's get that out in the open right now. For example, my main conduit for this information was an imaginary frog named Nicodemus who, in addition to being my familiar, is a licensed notary public (which, by the way, is SO useful, people. Everyone should imagine that they have an amphibious notary public, if they get the chance.)
The point is that there is no way that North Korea's motive for testing a nuclear weapon could possibly be related to the fact, tragic though it may be, that I have to work on Columbus Day. These are 2 unrelated tragedies.
HOWEVER, I think that just to be on the safe side, I should be allowed to go home. With full pay. And never come back. But keep getting paid. I mean, it seems only prudent.
I thank you.
The point is that there is no way that North Korea's motive for testing a nuclear weapon could possibly be related to the fact, tragic though it may be, that I have to work on Columbus Day. These are 2 unrelated tragedies.
HOWEVER, I think that just to be on the safe side, I should be allowed to go home. With full pay. And never come back. But keep getting paid. I mean, it seems only prudent.
I thank you.
1 comment:
Your job will kill us all!
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